Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Conversation with my mom.

I’m going to start right off by saying that I love my mom. She’s great! You’ll never find a nicer, sweeter or more giving person in your entire life. That being said; my mother is not very technical. No, that’s not right. She’s not technical at all. When she got a new washing machine we had to train her to use it. Not once but twice. Some idiot salesperson sold her a washing machine with fancy electronics. That clinched it. She was never going to figure out that washer.

It’s not just a washer but its cars, ovens, watches, and pretty much anything that smacks of technology.

Getting her on the computer is a lesson in futility. Allow me to give you an example using a recent phone call. Like today, recent.

Me: Hello

Mom: Hi honey

Me: Hi mom. What’s up? (shaking my head because she seems to always call before a meeting)

Mom: I didn’t get the email with the Christmas lists for all of you.

Me: I sent it earlier today. (damn, damn, damn! I knew that I shouldn’t have sent it from my gmail account)

Mom: Well, I didn’t get it. I’ll check it again.

Me: Ok

Mom: I still haven’t gotten it.

Me: Mom, I sent it from a different email address. Maybe it’s in your junk mail box.

Mom: I don’t have a junk mail box. (OMG, don’t I wish)

Me: Mom, your email account comes with a junk mail box.

Mom: Not mine. I don’t pay for that. (this is a lot like the conversation that I have with her about her cell phone. It seems that it doesn’t come with voice mail either.)

Me: Ok, I’ll resend it from our home email. Did you get it yet? (after I cut & paste the original email into a new email from the family account.)

Mom: no

Me: There’s like a circle button on the top left hand side of the page that says reload. Click on that.

Mom: Wow, how did you do that?

Me: It’s nothing, Mom (it’s frickin’ magic.)

Mom: What’s the blue underlined thing next to one of JR’s gifts?

Me: That’s a link that will take you to an example of what he wants. Go ahead and click on it.

Mom: OH! So that’s what he wants. Uh Oh, I should have never click there because now my email is gone.

Me: No its not, Mom. Just click on the X up on the top right. (please God spare me these conversations.)

Mom: I can’t do that. Every time I do the thing breaks.

Me: It won’t break. On the left is the back button. Click that.

Mom: Nothing happened.

Me: Is the back button highlighted.

Mom: No.

Me: (rolling my eyes) OK, look at the bottom left corner. See the word start?

Mom: Yeah

Me: What are the words to the right of the word start?

Mom: AOL mail and then Amazon.

Me: Click the red square with the X in it on the top right side of the screen. (this conversation has just gone beyond painful)

Mom: Do you really think that’s a good idea?

Me: Yes, mom. It’s okay. Honest, it is. Just click on it will you. (some days I’d like to reach through the phone to do it for her.)

Mom: Wow, you fixed it.

Me: Yeah, mom I fixed it. (pounding my head on my desk)

This is a typical computer conversation with my mother. You should just hear the ones about who died, has a deadly disease, or was thrown in jail. My life did get better after the local paper went regional. They stopped concentrating on people in our small town where she knows everyone.

And Mom, if you actually figure out how to open my blog from the link I gave you 9 months ago but you’ve never used, please know that I love you. You’re freaking hilarious though!

My son blogged about another computer incompetent. Unlike my mom (who really only needs to know how to open her email) this person should know something about computers. it's their job!

Have a great day everyone.




  1. Several members of my family are JUST LIKE THAT. Come to think of it, many of the people I work with, and support daily are also JUST LIKE THAT.

  2. What's great about making fun of her on this blog is why it is great to make fun of the Amish in general.

    They'll never know.

  3. I LOVE IT! Hilarious. You're magic! If you get any funny emails from her, you should send them to that Postcards from Yo Momma website. I've gotten my mother-in-law published on there twice.

  4. I think we have the same mother. Mine doesn't know how to check her voicemail so she has hundreds of unanswered voicemails stored on her home phone. Ever few months, I walk her through it again but it's no use. And computer help? Shoot me. Jamie and I are both tech people so by default, EVERY RELATIVE WE HAVE calls us for computer help. Then they want to spend family get togethers picking our brains on what type of computer to buy or how to do mail merge. It's maddening.

  5. That was awesome!!!! My parents have both gotten a bit more savvy. I remember when my mom (a teacher) got the first Apple in her classroom. The little red light turned on on the hard drive, and she literally threw me off the chair to protect me. I think seeing the red light would've been a whole lot less painful.

  6. lol...I love this. Now imagine your mom had an advanced degree and acted the exact. same. way. Now multiply that by roughly 50 (most of my users are okay) and you can be support staff paat a university.

  7. My Dad just signed up on Facebook. It shouldn't be possible, but both of my parents are somehow computer literate. Outside of me recommending a new system once in a while, I'm totally off the hook.

    Great tech support story! You had me at pounding your head on the desk. :D

  8. That is sooo funny and way tooo true! My kids would say I sound like your mom tho! Bratty kids! LOL