Friday, September 12, 2008

Fragility of Life

If your looking for recipes, doggie news, photos or whatever other mundane and frivolous thing that is happening in my life. Today is not the day to read this blog. Come back tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll be back to my ole self by then.

Sometimes I get in a funk. I feel as if life is just too much. You know, your basic depression. Then I hear a story about what is happening in someone else’s life that trumps all the bad stuff in my own. We had a happening like that in our life last night.

Our youngest homeboy has a friend. We’ll call her “L” (I’m not going to use her name because life is bad enough right now for her). She was his first Chemistry instructor. She’s not that much older then him. About 6 years or so. That would make her 28 or there abouts. They became friends and he hangs out with her when they can find the time. He’s finding out that friendship can be all about time management when you get older. But, that’s for another day.

Yesterday evening he called “L” to invite her, her husband “R” and their 3 month old baby to our house for dinner. Turns out she had quite an eventful summer (and not in a good way).

It went something like this:

One June evening R & L had a big fight about money or whatever. Newlywed stuff. R went to bed while L stayed up because the baby was fussy. She was sitting in a chair patting him and after awhile she dropped off to sleep, baby in her arms. The baby was about 3 weeks old. She wakes up to R yelling at her that she killed the baby. Turns out the baby died in his sleep from SIDS but they didn’t know that. (and didn’t find out officially until a few weeks ago) They tried as best they could to revive him, called 911 and did everything they knew. The baby was taken to the hospital, R took the car to the hospital and left L at home (the creep). A kind police officer took her there.

Now, if that wasn’t bad enough the story gets even stranger.

They deal with all the things that have to be done when a love one dies. Grieving R & L decide to get out of town for awhile. They go to Virginia to visit her folks. All the while they are still fighting. Mostly about money. He doesn’t make any. He has bad credit. He spends hers like water. That sort of stuff. They come back to Phoenix.

R leaves or she kicked him out. I don’t know which; I hope it was the latter. A few days later a couple of gang thugs track R down to L & R’s apartment (probably through the police records when the baby died, gang thugs have their ways). They introduced themselves to L, said R owed them money. She said she didn’t know where he was but that she had a few ideas. They gave her their card (I didn’t know gang members had calling cards did you?). L decided if R owned money to gang members he must have other things going on that she didn’t know about.

She did the smart thing. She called the police. A couple of officers show up to promptly inform her that R has violated his parole. She didn’t even know that he was on parole! She didn’t even know that he had committed a crime. Seems she didn’t know a lot about R. She gives the police any information that she has on R’s whereabouts. The police find him and tossed him in jail. Turns out R dabbled in car and identity theft.

I met this man a couple of times. He seemed really nice. I can’t say that I’m the greatest judge of character but it seems he conned L, L’s parents and friends, me, JR, and a whole lot of others.

L filed for divorce (per the suggestion from the police; like she needed any suggestion). Her divorce was granted in one month because R was in jail.

Unfortunately in Arizona violating your parole gets you only 2 months in jail. Since, she turned R in to the police and R had made all sorts of threats against L the police (being the helpful sorts that they are) had a couple of more suggestions for L.

First one was to get a restraining order. That would cover her legally though it is not a guarantee so their next suggestion was probably the best.

The second suggestion was that she call the number on the card given to her by the gang member that R owed money. She was to tell them that R was in jail and what day he was due to be released. The police seemed pretty sure that if they couldn’t protect her from R gang members could. Pretty smart people the police.

After all was said and done L was out a $65 dollar video that R rented from Blockbuster and stole out of her house.

As she told the police:

Blockbuster video: $65 dollars

Ratting out your no good husband to the police: priceless

She’s a strong woman L is.

She attending counseling,

she has her dream job,

and she’s putting her life back in order.

She makes me proud to know her.




  1. You have been a busy one!! I hope you can get out of your funk real soon.

    Have to tell ya the beer bread was awesome! Over the top yum!

    My goodness what all L has been through! Hope R stays away and leaves her alone. I also hope she moves and changes her # so when R gets out he and his gang does not come knocking on her door.

    Daryl said its quite a pull from Ph to Flag. The shop that his truck is in has given him a voucher for a cab service to take him to his motel and such. So every little thing is appreciated when these things happen.

  2. The beer bread has a bunch of things going for it; easy, quick & yummy! Yeah for beer bread.

    L is coming for dinner tomorrow night. It will be more than I can stand to not play mom. Her mom is in Virginia. doesn't she need one here too?

    Tell Daryl to hang in there. At least the weather is cooler. Could be worse; it could be late June. UGH!

  3. Have a great evening with L. I'm sure a shoulder to lean on and hugs will be very welcomed!!!