It seems that our fearless leader Keely is out of commission because of a malicious computer virus. Don't people,
and when I say people I mean those computer types that can write code
and when I say those computer types that can write code I mean the ones that can do it without drinking,
and when I say without drinking I mean alcohol,
know they should only use their code writing powers for good?
and when I say people I mean those computer types that can write code
and when I say those computer types that can write code I mean the ones that can do it without drinking,
and when I say without drinking I mean alcohol,
know they should only use their code writing powers for good?
According to the stats thingy on Blogger (who I hate but I have a fairly committed relationship with mostly because I'm too lazy to cheat on it with another blog platform) one of the top ten searches that will get you to my blog this week is 'dildo attachment for a kitchenaid mixer'. This is a visual that I just can't get out of my head and one that I have given way too much thought as to the mechanics, marketing, and the disclaimer of. How to design something like this is not that hard to figure out but how do you take into account the setting up of this appliance for home use? Have you got a kitchenaid mixer? Those suckers are heavy. The contortions required to pull off this stunt would baffle a circus contortionist turned porn star. I am fairly certain that the difficult logistics would far outweigh any possible pleasure but then I maybe wrong. It certainly seems that I am with the number of people who search for this particular item.
Then I start to wonder how one would market something like this, adult stores, the internet, the kitchen supply store? Would the kitchen supply store put it behind the counter wrapped in brown paper like the magazine stores do with the Playboys? And, would anyone have the brass cojones to ask the sales associate to; ring one up for them? Would the sales associate break an eardrum holding their breath hard enough so they don't laugh? Is that a legitimate Workers Compensation injury?
What should the disclaimer say? WTF were you thinking? Using this product as it was designed may cause serious injury. Do not attempt while standing, siting, or lying down. Using the maximum speed will likely result in injury to affected area. Not designed for commercial use.
That leads me to start thinking of the battalion of lawyers that Kitchenaid would have to have on retainer because you know, sure as shit, that some idiot is going to run that baby on Kitchenaid warp speed and hurt themselves. Let the lawsuits fly! I can just hear one of the lawyers say; "your Honor I'd like to introduce the dildo in question as exhibit A, but ewwww".
See? I have spent too much time thinking of this search string.
I went on an epic house cleaning binge this weekend and I'm paying the price in sore muscles today. In this case the pain was totally worth it. I can breath now that the dog fur is gone. I swear to all things doggie that that Corgie sheds like 6 dogs. The tops of my baseboards have never looked this good. I even dusted the tops of the door frames. I KNOW! I was obsessed or possessed or something. At the end of this frenzy of domesticness everyone got a bath. Not all at the same time, of course. Me, JR, both dogs and the cat.
The indignities that this poor kittah suffers is great.
That's ta ta ta all folks. Tomorrow I'll announce the winners of the recordable book. The day after that I have another installment of My misspent youth, where I explain why I hate snakes. Then Friday is history day. See ya'll around.
Love,
M
