Menopause - A Word That Means the World to Me

I've been around the world, you bet, and have gone to too much school

Hard knocks are all I seem to get, perhaps I've been a fool;

But still, some educated folks, supposed to be so swell,

Would fail if they were called upon a simple word to spell.

Now if you'd like to put me to the test,

There's one name that I can spell the best!

M = is for the mood swings that are plaguing me. Pitying JR is perfectly acceptable.

E = is for the ever growing hair on my chin.

N = is for NOT being fertile anymore. Grandma at 50? Yes. Mommy at 50, NO!

O = is for the occasional hot flashes that always seem to happen when I’m in an important meeting.

P = is for the irregular periods that surprise me at the worst possible times. Like every time I’m out of town.

A = is for increased abdominal fat. My excuse for gaining 10 pounds.

U = is for the udder-like look of my breasts these days.

S = is for sleep disturbances which is a pretty way of saying I’m up all frickin’ night every night.

E = is for the education in vaginal lubricants I’ve been given.

Put them all together they spell MENOPAUSE, a word that means a hellish world to me.


Suffering,
M