Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Gravity You Bitch!


It is Random Thoughts Tuesday. Sure I could have phoned this one in but nooooo! I fortified myself with a couple of glasses of wine in order to give you the best of my randomness. Okay, so I would have fortified myself anyway but you benefit.


Could be I'm just blowing smoke up your skirts.

Don't wear skirts?

Matt, buddy.....think about it. Truly, you have the legs for it.

Gravity totally sucks. Sure, it keeps your feet on the ground and all but damn if you try to defy it in anyway it pays you back in spades. Need an example? Try putting that one last piece of china on the glass shelf of your china cabinet. What happens? That shelf falls down breaking 20 pieces of antique Spode china.

A cup and saucer will cost me $32 to replace. Luncheon plate another $32. That is a single luncheon plate. Replacing 12 is going to cost me....uh....shit math again. Let's just say a lot. I cried like a baby. The boy was completely stymied. He kept hugging me. My back has bruises from the patting.

It is just me or are there some really sick individuals out there? Sure, I half expected some weird search stats after my blog post entitled Dildo Dogs but dang! Take a look at numbers 2 and 8. Six people out there were looking for dildos for their dogs. Now those are some committed dog owners or dog owners that should be committed.

Huevos rancheros once again it the jackpot. As it's been doing for the last 8 to 10 weeks. Yay, huevos rancheros! You go uh.....eggs!

1. huevos rancheros recipe (21 times)
2. dog dildo (5 times)
3. love story with greek (2 times)
4. are portabella mushrooms ok for dogs? (2 times)
5. michele dog's life (2 times)
6. asparagus gazacho recipe (1 time)
7. witor's noir chocolates (1 time)
8. dildos for dogs (1 time)
9. "portabella mushrooms" (1 time)
10. type of dog mostly love by the greek (1 time)
11. pumpkin and dogs (1 time)
12. vacation at the rest area lol (1 time)
13. white cheese sauce with ricotta cheese (1 time)
14. huevos ranchero recipes (1 time)
15. wordless wednesday (1 time)
16. am i too old for a dog (1 time)
17. what to make with pumpkin ravioli (1 time)
18. label (1 time)
19. sauce for pumpkin ravioli (1 time)
20. i am in love story with greek (1 time)
21. gil elvgren librarian pin up (1 time)
22. 5177 (1 time)
23. please 4: it's a dog's life porn (1 time)
24. what spices to have in your kitchen (1 time)
25. pumpkin dogs (1 time)

WTF, is up with #23? Is there dog porn? If so, I DO.NOT.WANT.TO.KNOW.ABOUT.IT!!!

This is so cool. The Huffington Post has featured the Meatless Monday folks. Come to find out the Huffington Post is going to post Meatless Monday recipes starting next Monday. Now, if I'd get off my lazy arse and send some recipes in I'd hit the big time. Or as big of time I'll ever hit. It might be better than being under Paul McCartney....visually not literally.

Can you think of any recipe I should send in? Which did you like the best?

That does it for me. You all should really head over to Keely's place, The UnMom, to find some of the best randomness to be had. That's right folks! We would never short change you on randonmess.



  1. I literally gasped and winced when I read about the china. Yowch!

    But I'm giggling over the dog dildos; I get at least one search every month for "sushi bar sex" or some variant thereof.

  2. And people think their google searches are theirs and theirs alone....

  3. I don't wear skirts either so I'm glad nobody is going to blow smoke up there.

    Aww, sorry about your china. I'm sure that was a devastating sound to hear. I'm glad you got so many back pats, they had to make you feel a little better, no?

  4. Can't remember the last time I wore a skirt. Something to do with the thigh thing...

  5. I don't wear skirts, or shorts. You can blow up my capris?

    I gasped when I read the china part. I don't know when I became this person, but we're talking about YOU now. That sucks.

  6. Damn Right...If wearing a skirt was socially acceptable, I would do it in public rather than just within the confines of my home. Sorry about the China, but thanks for the heads up on Huffington. Cheers Michele!!

  7. Sorry about your china.

    Great RTT

    Have a great day.

  8. Wow! You are crazy when you have wine.

    You should see the search stats I have. People are freaks!!

  9. My china is older than my father. I think if any of the pieces were to break, my great grandmother would rise up and haunt me. I hate that china.

  10. i had to stop reading my stats because it kind of disturbs me.

    in a holy disgusting kind of way.

    i had a moment where i considered stopping swearing and talking about rude and uncomfortable subjects...

    but it passed.

    so sorry about your china:( day i hope to have such a cherished collection. for now, i'll have to settle for my collection of travel mugs;)


  11. I learned the law of gravity and age in one fail swoop... apparently the exact law is "The is a definite age at which one's ass should not be above one's head" Yeah...cartwheel...not so much.

  12. Sorry about the china! But at least you can find it! No skirts here anymore either.....

  13. Dog Dildos??? REALLY Dogs do not have thumbs....


    I saw a post yesterday on not air guitar contests - but air sex contests.