Now I didn't want to look too eager (raised my hand frantically) but I wanted in on this party. I also wanted a reason to re-post/polish off this real early blog career post. I included the comments (all 2 of them).
Readership was down in the beginning. Not that it is terribly high to start with. I like to think of the 40 or so people who visit my blog as loyal and trusted friends. You know who you are (I'd shower you with heaps of gifts and money but have you seen what librarians get paid?). Even though half of the 40 are probably Google hits that can't figure out why they are looking at this crap. Serves them right.
Now don't let the geeky computer programming stuff stop you from reading this post. It will make total sense by the time you hit the second or third one how this thing rolls. I dare you to leave your own pseudocode.
Pseudocode for guys
My carpool partner/daughter-in-law and I were talking about how nice it would be if you could program men like you would a computer. That led us to create a few If/Then statements. The following are a few that we thought were important. I'm sure that we only hit the tip of the iceberg on this one. Feel free to add a few of your own in the comment section. I'm not the best programmer so if the syntax is not quite right I'll apologize now.
If toilet seat is up Then
Put it down
or I'll be screaming at you when I fall in
If you drink the last of anything in the refrigerator Then Throw the container away
If your clothing is dirty Then
Put in laundry basket
Else they won’t get washed
If garbage can is full Xor smelly Then
Else I will hit you over the head with an empty egg carton
If you take a cap off the beer bottle Then
Throw the cap in the garbage
Else I will no longer buy beer
If you pass gas under the bed covers Then
Do not lift the covers
Else you will be sleeping in another room
If light is On Then Turn it off
If you want a drink Then
Get a glass
Else I'll empty the container you just drank out of over your head
If I am talking to you Then
Make the effort to listen
Else I will just nag you about it later
If you are lost Then
ask for directions
ElseIf we are late Then I will glare at you and give you the silent treatment
Labels: reality bites
If woman is talking
Then pretend to pay attention (pause game if necessary)
Else endless rounds of "you never listen" ensues.
Sry, had to get some man code in there ;) In all fairness:
If woman is talking
Then she is clearly right, stop while you're ahead.
Else you are totally fucked.
See, only one year deep and I am already trained =D
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I should make up some of these for women but it would require a class because they are just Objects. (For those that might not know it “class” and “Objects”are programming terms but I pretty sure he didn’t mean them that way. He caught hell for it anyway)