My carpool partner/daughter-in-law and I were talking about how nice it would be if you could program men like you would a computer. That led us to create a few If/Then statements. The following are a few that we thought were important. I'm sure that we only hit the tip of the iceberg on this one. Feel free to add a few of your own in the comment section. I'm not the best programmer so if the syntax is not quite right I'll apologize now.
#1
If toilet seat is up Then
Put it down
Else
or I'll be screaming at you when I fall in
End If
If you drink the last of anything in the refrigerator Then Throw the container away
If your clothing is dirty Then
Put in laundry basket
Else they won’t get washed
End If
If garbage can is full Xor smelly Then
Take out
Else I will hit you over the head with an empty egg carton
End If
#5
If you take a cap off the beer bottle Then
Throw the cap in the garbage
Else I will no longer buy beer
End If
#6
If you pass gas under the bed covers Then
Do not lift the covers
Else you will be sleeping in another room
End If
#7
If light is On Then Turn it off
#8
If you want a drink Then
Get a glass
Else I'll empty the container you just drank out of over your head
End If
#9
If I am talking to you Then
Make the effort to listen
Else I will just nag you about it later
End If
If you are lost Then
ask for directions
ElseIf we are late Then I will glare at you and give you the silent treatment
End If
If woman is talking
ReplyDeleteThen pretend to pay attention (pause game if necessary)
Else endless rounds of "you never listen" ensues.
End if
Sry, had to get some man code in there ;) In all fairness:
If woman is talking
Then she is clearly right, stop while you're ahead.
Else you are totally fucked.
End if
See, only one year deep and I am already trained =D
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ReplyDeleteI should make up some of these for women but it would require a class because they are just Objects.
ReplyDelete