Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Christmas Letter - Spin

Courtesy of Sprite's Keeper this weeks spin cycle is our family Christmas letter. I know you will all be thrilled to read about our exciting year.

Dear Family and Friends,

Christmas is once again (rearing its ugly head) around the corner which means it’s time for a quick update from the Grand Canyon State.

Please consider this an open invitation to come down (with your big ass Buick) for a little relaxation and (smoggy) sunshine. Our borders are always open (according to our Nazi sheriff, he’s going to close them even if he has to violate all of our civil rights to do it.) So pack your golf clubs (please for God’s sake charge the battery on your golf cart), your Bermuda shorts (because I’m really looking forward to seeing your baggy knees), and your AARP card (the grocery stores give you 10% on the 1st Wednesday of the month) and come on down (just don’t plan on staying at my house unless you do windows. If you do, I’ve got a spare bedroom but you’ll have to share the bathroom with a 23 year old boy).

The youngest Boy is doing great at school. JR and I couldn’t be more proud. (with the exception of the time he got an award for recess. Really, what parent wouldn’t be proud of their son being able to play outside successfully) He is getting such fantastic grades at Arizona State University (that it has almost wiped out that painful and misspent year at Central Washington University.) He has such an active social life and has met the girl of his dreams. She’s a tall blond with beautiful brown eyes. She’s very athletic. You never see her without a ball or outside toy of some sort. We try very hard to overlook her habit of licking herself then licking us (I blame her parents).

The oldest Boy and his wife are living close now. This makes JR and me extremely happy. Having your family all together especially at the Christmas season is something to celebrate. We revel in the fact that all our children are so near, seeing their bright and shiny faces everyday (day in and day out, relentlessly, unremittingly, insistently) brings real joy to our golden years.

JR is doing well. Most of you would hardly recognize him. He has lost 30 pounds in the last year (while eating his weight in Fritos and beer). He (loathes) loves his job and is sure to be promoted. (gets a brush)

I’m (more neurotic) excellent. My career is really taking off (I was given a brush). In the last year I was invited to speak in several exciting places around the country (Helena, Montana and Kansas City, Missouri where I gave lame ass speeches on subjects that the audience couldn’t care less about) to appreciative audiences.

Our family sends (S.O.S.) our warmest Seasons Greetings to you and yours.

Merry Christmas,
Michele, JR, the Oldest Boy, DIL, and Youngest Boy


  1. Great holiday letter! I could feel the (snark) love pouring out of each word! You're linked!

  2. What a cool post! Happy Holidays to you too.


  3. Great Spin!! Younger Boy's girl sounds pretty great. Does she come running as soon as he calls her name? Guys go for that, you know.

  4. I love your Christmas letter. I laughed so much about your younger son's 'girlfriend' that I nearly fell off my chair.

    I just read that Kath is coming to see you. Have fun!

  5. Good work with the holiday letter, I'm planning on writing mine tonight and I'm drawing a blank. So, is the invitation open to fellow bloggers? If so, I'll ditch the family and come for some relaxation. ;)

  6. That's exactly the kind of girlfriend you can ALWAYS take home to Mama.