Tortured Art or how I can torture you with my art

For those of you who’s candidate won last night: Woo Hoo! Just don’t think that things are going to get better right away. Sure, after January 20^th you will no longer be tortured with watching Mr. B’s smirking face but I’ll still be tormenting you with my art endeavors. No life is not going to get easier.

I’m just looking out for you here. I personally need an excuse for all the wine I drink and the current economy/president/wars situation has suited me just fine. I’d like to take personal responsibility but that just wouldn’t be the American way. I’m an American Dangit. That means I should be able to live over my means, blame someone else for my problems, and ridicule the French. I was going to say Canadians but I didn’t want to offend Captain Dumbass. When we lived in Bellingham, Washington (in the early 80's) this was okay but in Phoenix, Arizona it’s just not done. Those lovely elderly Canadians migrate down in the winter to spend their hard earned dollars, drive really slow with their turn signals on in their Buicks, and pack the local restaurants with gray/blue/white hair. Nope, I just can't make fun of them.

Back to torture…..

Why I took up drawing/painting a year ago is an absolute mystery. I’ve never taken an art class (and it shows); I didn’t even know what supplies I would need (much to the chagrin of my Credit Card Company and JR); and don’t even get me started on perspective. No really don’t because I don’t seem to have a clue what it is.

My media of choice is pastels. Why pastels? They are just like coloring with crayons. I love crayons. Especially the big 64 crayon sized box. Pastels are even better though. They must be because they cost more, no wait that’s not it. It’s because you can blend the colors, right blending is good. Add that to the fact that you can erase the whole dang thing if you want (and I want way too much) makes pastels a perfect choice for an artist wannabe.

I’ve dabbled in watercolors. When I say dabbled I mean screwed up lots of paper, made a huge mess, and required that JR applaud my painfully awful efforts. The man truly broke out in spots. He was under a lot of stress. How do you tell your wife that her painting sucks and still get dinner and extracurricular activities? I feel sorry for him. I’ve only produced a couple of things that I’ve been happy enough with to keep. I really wanted to produce beautiful translucent seascapes and landscapes. Watercolors just seemed so ladylike. I wanna be ladylike!!

I’m ditching my watercolors (for obvious reasons. I just don’t need the pressure) for oil paints. Oil paints are still really messy but they include lot of chemicals. Chemicals are good. Life is better through chemistry. You got your turpentine and lacquer and this white stuff that you paint on before you start painting. It is so cool. It makes my artist wannabe heart sing.

Here is a picture of my first crack at oil painting. I want to preface this with I know it’s a little off down there in the left corner. The bridge could use a bit more work. I think San Francisco turned out a bit too green. Oh shoot! Don’t tell me I’ll have to scrap the whole thing off.

Let the torture begin….

Oh the Humanity!

Love,

M