My cardio workout - a pie chart

I thought that I'd give you a little look see into my cardio workout. I subject do this workout every other day. Because I hate myself want to get into shape.

I title these days
 
50 Minutes of Hell

This is how the voice in my head works. Notice I didn't say voices. Those voices abandon me as soon as I step onto the elliptical. And, I hate them for it.

 Warm-up (10 minutes), cruising along at about 5.5 mph with a slight resistance of 3.

• This is easy.
• A few more weeks and you are going to look awesome.
•  Oh look! That young kid is going half as fast as you are. (yes, I'm not above this kind of statement.)
• You are awesome.

Kicking it up (10 minutes), speeding up to 6 mph and raising the resistance to 5.

• Oh yeah! You can do this ALL DAY long.
• The Tax Man...oh oh oh the tax man. (Beatles tunes makes some of the best workout tunes)
• Work it...work it baby
• Come on baby...twist and shout. come on come on baby now...work it on out.
• Damn girl, next thing you know you'll be running a marathon. (lying to yourself is an important component to motivation)

You are so awesome (15 minutes), keeping the same speed but ratcheting up the resistance to 7

• You got the ole heart rate up to the anaerobic range. Nice work!
• What the hells the difference between aerobic and anaerobic again?
• Who cares
• Ha! the young kid on the trainer next to me just quit. Wuss
• Yeah - The house is a rockin' don't bother knockin'  Yeah - The house is a rockin' don't bother come on in (Stevie Ray is cool)
• You are more than half way done.
• Just 20 more minutes left including cool down.

OMFG what were you thinking (5 minutes), same speed 6mph but just upped the resistance to an ungodly 10.

• Holy shit
• You are too damn old for this
• What was that song? I couldn't even hear it over my wheezing
• Dammit! I hate getting sweat in my eyes
• 3 more minutes
• 2 and a half more minutes
• Jesus when will this end
• 30 seconds...20, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

 You so suck (5 minutes) same speed, lowered the resistance back down to 7

• Why do you do that to yourself
• Don't tell me to slow down to lower my heart rate you stupid machine.
• Hey where did we go, Days when the rains came (Van is so smooth)
• Nike DryFit wicks the sweat away my ass
• Have I been singing out loud this whole time?
• No because I haven't been able to freaking breathe.  

Thank You Jesus (5 minutes) staring to cool down. lower my speed to 5 mph with the resistance at 5

• Why don't I wear a headband? It would at least keep the sweat out of my eyes
• Damn that stings!
• Layla, you've got me on my knees. Layla, I'm begging, darling please. (Eric, I love you)
• Now, that wasn't so bad.
• The hell is wasn't.
• But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow. (back to the Beatles)
• See! That wasn't so bad.
• The hell is wasn't. 
• You know you just repeated yourself.
• Yeah, I know...shut up.

Another five minutes for the real cool down and I'm done. 


While  I have to say I don't really enjoy this special time on the trainer I do like the results. When I first started 4 weeks ago I could only do 30 minutes at no more than 4.5 mph and the resistance set a 1. Now, I'm kicking out 4 to 5 or more miles in 50 minutes. I no longer count the 5 minute cool down as time served and I'm pretty smug.



Be groovy, 
M
(Yes, I do listen to a whole lot of 60s music while working out.)