Thursday, July 1, 2010

My sincere apologies

I feel the need to apologize to the drivers in the Washington DC metro area for the following infractions:

1. Not jackrabbiting off the light. I totally understand that the 10 extra seconds that it took my foot to move from the brake pedal to the gas pedal slowed you down considerably but honking at me didn't make me want to hurry up. Mostly, it just pissed me off. Which in turns makes me go slower. You may want to keep that in mind for next time.

2. Only going 70 miles per hour in a 55 mph zone. I am so sorry that I wasn't going 80+ mph like the rest of you but I was trying to find the road that I needed to turn left on. Going 70 mph was a compromise. I didn't want to miss my turn. There was a glass of wine at the end of that road. Missing it would have caused me to miss my nightly glass of wine. Trust me when I say nobody wants that. Missing that sacred glass of red will cause me to swerve into you at 70 mph. Something none of us wants.

3. For staying in my own lane on the beltway. Yes, Yes I now know that staying in your own lane is a major No No. I'm still not sure why all of you feel the need to weaving in and out of traffic in order to get one or two cars ahead but I guess you have your reasons. So just let me say one more time I'm sorry. Though if I can be perfectly honest I'd do it again and again. Why? Because you'll never convince me that that 30 seconds I might save will actually do me any good.

4. For using my turn signal: Sorry, I didn't realize that turn signals were an optional feature on vehicles sold in the DC area. In my defense, my car was equipped with turn signals and I felt obligated to use them.

5. Red lights apparently do not mean stop.
It seems that red lights mean go really fast or slam on your brakes and hope that the person behinds you stops in time. I'm sorry for leaving enough room between me and the person in front of me that coasting to a stop was possible.

So all you DC drivers, please take pity on a courteous out-of-town driver that didn't know that the same rules of the road that the rest of the country adhere to doesn't apply to DC drivers. I'll try not to drive in the area again but I can't make any promises. How about I make you a deal? When I plan to drive in the Metro area I give you all plenty of warning.


PS: to the woman that decided that she didn't want to take a left after all and left the turn lane and crossed 3 lanes of traffic in the the intersection; aren't you glad I was looking for that glass of wine?


  1. I was there three years ago...riding in cabs mostly...I was frightened. They're the worst. Cheers Michele!!

  2. I am so glad we took the subways when we visited DC! But in Dc they were called something else... trains, metro?

  3. Oh boy. I hope you made it to that glass of wine!

    The honking when the light turns green thing makes me crazy too. I am convinced that all of those honkers are just waiting in line for their heart attacks.

  4. Youch, sounds like a bunch of jackasses up there. The drivers in NY are like that too, I'm always terrified anytime we drive there. Here, we just have slow as fuck seniors who can't see over the wheel and I seem like the impatient one as I race home for naptime.

  5. Doesn't sound all that different to driving in Canberra Civic centre, which I avoid at all costs. I also have the same issues as you and tend to offend many drivers.

  6. I suggest avoiding all trips to Los Angeles, because LA drivers make DC drivers look downright sluggish.

  7. You made it back alive though, right??