I may jinks it.
I probably shouldn't be putting this in print.
Oh, I'm so nervous.
I'm just going to go for it and let the chips fall where they may.
No, No I'm not going to put it in print.
Oh, who am I kidding.
I'm going for it because I'm a risk taker.
To the guys out there; you may want to look away for just a minute because things are about to get personal. Personal as in; womanly private. Personal as in; ooh I can't believe she said that. Personal as in; gawd, that was gross kind of way.
In less than one month I will be celebrating 2 very important events in a woman's life. One is my 27th wedding anniversary. Yes, JR has put up with me for 27 years. What can I say; the man has stamina. Or he's slow. Or he's lazy. Or he loves me. Whatever it is he has been through the ringer with the second event.
The other momentous event is that I will be technically and officially done with menopause. that's right ladies. Done. Kaput. Never more.
According to WebMD; Menopause is the point when it's been a year since a woman has her last menstrual period. At this stage, the ovaries have stopped releasing eggs and producing most of their estrogen. My eggs have stopped releasing. My ovaries have stopped producing estrogen. I have gone a full year without a visit from Aunt Flo. I have not waken up in the middle of the night with a messy disaster on my hands, so to speak. Because....gross. I have not been caught unawares by my period showing up without warning. No more bloating, no more period panties, and no more ban of wearing white during "that time".
I took a bold step the other day. I actually cleaned out my bathroom of all feminine hygiene products. I know, I'm tempting fate. I'm tempting the gods of period paraphernalia to strike me down. I'm trembling in fear.
I will now be post menopausal. Believe it or not I am soooo excited about this. Why? Because it means less and less hot flashes, night sweats and insomnia. And crazy, I should be less crazy. Gawd, I want to be less crazy. I want to stop crying over commercials. I want to stop the angst. I want a decent nights sleep. I could do without the slowed metabolism but, hey, we all have our crosses to bear.
With my luck, now that I've voiced my jubilee at these events and cleaned out the house and my office of all paraphernalia something will go wrong. Oh, I don't think JR will leave me. Seriously, he really likes me. It's the other thing that might go wrong. So everyone keep your fingers crossed (figuratively of course) for the next month.
Now, we'll return to our normal inane banter.