I'm at yet again another conference in weird and wacky Austin, Texas. The number 3 keeps cropping up. Let me give some examples of this mysterious phenomena.
3 hour is how long it took to drive up here.
3 meals are served at this conference. I've never gone to a conference that served food. I guess for the 80 bigillion dollars this conference cost they thought they had better serve food. Breakfast = continental = carbs overdose. Lunch = salad for me, BBQ for everyone else. Dinner = reception food = oh yeah, I pigged out.
3 times a day snacks are served; which means I must eat. I would hate to offend anyone by shunning their tasty bite size brownies or chocolate cookies. Who am I to turn that down?
3 the number of days this conference lasts.
3 the number of days I'll never get back.
3 glasses of wine at the reception was probably a bad idea. Maybe not, I can't remember.
23 foreign countries are represented here. When they advertised this as an international conference they weren't kidding.
3 times the energy wasprobably expended to get here by the 1 person who came all the way from Iran than all the other conference goers put together.
3 the number of people I actually know here.
3 is how many times I want to slap the guy 3 seats down from me that won't stop shaking his damn foot and there by shaking the whole row of seats.
3, 333, 333 times I yawned when someone put some crazy algebraic equation in the text heavy powerpoint slide there by making me want to poke their eyes out with a 3 prong fork.
3 the number of times that the speaker used the word pedagogical guidance. Why do I want to call child protective services?
So there is a wrap up of my conference in the power of 3. Sorry about all the text and no pictures. I've had about all the text heavy material I can handle for awhile.
Love,
M
ps: it was so late last night I forgot to title this post. That sounds so much better than I am so lame. We really know which one it is.
I love the little patterns in life.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I need to say three things here.
I hope all is well with you.
I was feeling pretty bad for you until I saw that they served wine at a conference. Was it a porn conference? I've never heard of food or alcohol being served at a boring conference, I think you've made it big time.
ReplyDeleteThat foot shaker dude should be shot, along with gum chewers and pen clickers. Oh, and people who heavily sigh to make their feelings of boredom or frustration be known throughout the room.
M, everytime I read your blog now I think about the challenge of being veg and attending such meetings.
ReplyDeleteGreat post....I so identify....I have trouble sitting still even when it IS interesting. And I yawn so much my jaw nearly unhinges. I'm a foot shaker....sorry! Think it helps keep me awake. Next time I'm in a setting like this I'll try not to in case I'm jostling everyone else.
I almost didn't leave this comment, because you had 3 and I was loathe to break your streak.
ReplyDeleteThen I said, what the hell. I think 4 is your new number.
LOL @ Maureen. Okay, now it can be five.
ReplyDeleteI have a lovely set of three-pronged seafood forks, should you ever need to borrow them - I'm enthusiastic about poking out the eyes of annoying people. Especially leg jigglers.
At least you're getting food and wine to compensate for your boredom?!?!
ReplyDeleteHope the rest of the conference goes quick... and the foot shaker guy's foot falls asleep!
I would be the person who shakes my foot causing at least 3 people to slap me. I deserve it. :)
ReplyDeleteIs this a librarian conference? (Did I miss that?) Why don't you just learn about all the exciting books coming soon? That's the scenario I would imagine...
Me and my unfulfilled dreams of being a librarian.
If you weren't at a librarian conference...oops. my bad.
But at least there's the food? right? :)
Sometimes John shakes his foot or leg in the van and it shakes the entire vehicle. Next time he does this, I will think of you and the guy you wanted to slap and hit John three times in rememberance.
ReplyDeleteAnd three, count 'em THREE dildo dogs!! BWAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!
ReplyDelete(those aren't yours, are they??)
This is my favorite!!
ReplyDelete3 is how many times I want to slap the guy 3 seats down from me that won't stop shaking his damn foot and there by shaking the whole row of seats.
I HATE that! :)
ha!
Cindy
Ever been to a sales conference? Sorta the same thing but with three times the cheese factor.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hate conferences!
PS: Stop being so smug about the heat around here. :)
What a pack of coincidences.... but at least you got food.
ReplyDeleteomg, I hate those foot-shakers. Slap him 3 times for me, too.
ReplyDeleteI live the power of threes myself. Hopefully, you were able to get more than three hours of sleep per night.
ReplyDeleteMy husband's favorite numbers are 3 and 23.
ReplyDeleteI think I'd like all that food, but hate the boring powerpoints.
Whoa, sounds like a cool conference, except for the algebra. Are you sure you're in the right room?
ReplyDeleteKick up your heels, woman.