Every week Sprite's Keeper hosts the Spin Cycle and every week I blow it off and every week I say to myself; "Self, you have really got to think something up. You are so lame. Stop being so lazy." Yes, I do talk to myself. And yes, I am lame and lazy. So I guess would make me the three "L"s. Loquacious, lame, and lazy.
Anyway, this week's spin is dating which ties in very nicely with my stories from my misspent youth. Seriously folks, my youth was totally misspent. If it wasn't you would be bored by my ramblings by now. Unknowingly, I was thinking of you. I'm kind of like that. HA!
After about of year of dancing around the whole dating thing. Going through the leaving/divorce process and pretty much giving the whole marriage/dating thing the ole heave ho; JR decides to take me on a date. Before this time it was all group things.
I'd have liked to keep it this way but I felt really bad. Maybe, it was the way that my mom wielded guilt like a sword. JR never did but I felt the pressure. Bowing to that pressure I decided to go out with JR on a date. A real date. Dinner, movie, drinks afterward. No sex. We didn't do that on the first, third or even 12th date. It was the three months rule. For those of you that don't know about the 3 months rule I'll explain later. Just to let you in on the early 1980s secret; sex before 3 months made you a slut. Just an FYI.
We decided to do the movie before the dinner part of the evening. I can't really remember what we saw. JR would know. He remembers that sort of shit. Can't remember where he put his keys but where we went for our first day; yeah, he remembers that.
After the movie we went to a diner. One step down from fancy and 2 steps up from dive. This was a place with booths, silverware wrapped in paper napkins, and straws with paper wrappers. Can't remember what we had. Yet, again JR would remember but this is the same guy that can't find his way out of a brown paper bag.
We were sitting in our assigned booth. Our paper-wrapped silverware sitting on the table. The waitress brings our drinks. This is where the date makes a turn. For the better or the worse I'll let you decided.
Sitting at the booth chatting amicably about nothing in particular. The waitress brings our drinks. With the drinks she gently sets the straws next to each glass. The message was clear: "You use the straws". I'm willing. JR is more than willing. He loves places that require no dress code. The possibility of wearing a tie is scary for him.
JR unwraps his straw from the paper and dips it into his soda. Me, well not so much. I slowly unwrap the first inch of the straw paper. I put the straw gently to my lips and blow as hard as I can. Straight at JR.
Did I hit him? You bet! Smack in the eye.
I laughed my head off.
JR? Not so much.
I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever seen. Him sitting there blinking ridiculously; trying to act like he thought this happened everyday. The idiot!
After awhile, he started to laugh. His straw was already in his glass so he couldn't retaliate.
Over the years this has become something we do. Every once in awhile one of us will shoot our straws at the other.
Something we taught our children?
Lately we've noticed that the paper that straws are coming in are not as shootable (not a word? Screw Blogger spellcheck. I'm a librarian, I'll make up words when I want). The straw paper doesn't really launch itself at its intended target anymore. This is disappointing to JR and I. Shooting straw papers at each other is a trip down memory lane.
So that was JR and my first date. Romantic, no? Yeah, I thought so too.
Want to play Spin Cycle? Well, you are a bit too late for this week. Sorry, see the first paragraph about my lameness. Next week? You can get all over it. And don't be intiminated by Jen at Sprite's Keeper. She may act tough but I really think she's a pussy cat. Oh don't tell her I said so; she'll kick my butt. Really, I'm kind of afraid of her.