1. I'm going to go grocery shopping and apply for a part-time job, and, I'm going to paint and I’m going to clean my houseand I’m going to cook, do laundry and volunteer at my local zoo, I am just kidding you. I’m way too lazy to do any of that shit.
2. Why do I have work and not get paid an ungodly amount of money?
3. How does this contraption work, anyway?
4. Every morning, I put my big girl panties on my very flat butt and hope they don’t ride up all day long.
5. I consider myself lucky because JR hasn’t run screaming from our house because of my craziness.
6. One day we’ll see a man on the moon. Oh wait, if you believe NASA we already did.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to enjoying Martini and movie night with friends, tomorrow my plans include something called “the 9th annual Strong Beer Festival” because JR loves him some beer and Sunday, I want to do anything but go to a retirement party, yawn!
I am descended from these two women. The one on the right was my great great grandma and the one on the left is her mother. Let it be said that I don't think I look like either. Thank you God! Then again if I had had their life I would probably look as tough as shoe leather.
Take Grandma Meadows there on the left. She was born in 1813 in Kentucky. It is family lore that she was Cherokee Indian or at least a good part. She married Grandpa Meadows in 1834 and had 12 living children. She lived to be over 100 years old.
Grandpa and Grandma Meadows moved from Kentucky in 1838. I believe that Grandpa Meadows might have been in a bit of trouble with his family for marrying an Indian. I believe this because he is not mentioned again in any other family histories after his marriage and because his grandfather fought these same Indians during the Revolutionary war. Something tells me they were none too happy with him.
My Grandfather remembered Grandma Meadows as never speaking English though she knew it. She only spoke French. I think she was still a little pissed about the whole Trail of Tears thing. Go figure. Even though she wasn't part of it she must have known family and friends that were. It was a good thing that my Great Grandpa Weible spoke French or no one in the family could have communicated with her.
In 1861 her then 53 year old husband up and decided to join the Union army. This would not have necessarily been a bad thing but they were living in a Southern sympathetic county in Missouri. She pretty much told Grandpa Meadows when he was on furlough that they were all moving up north during the war. After almost 30 years of marriage and a dozen kids I'd have been tempted to kick his fool butt out. Leaving her to be terrorized while he went off to play soldier. What was the man thinking? It wasn't like he had any ties to the North. He was a simple illiterate farmer. Whatever his reasons he stayed in either the Union army or the Missouri State militia until April 14, 1864.
After the war they moved to Reynolds County, Missouri where Great Grandpa Meadows died 21 years later in 1885. Grandma Meadows continued to live in the little house in the woods that Grandpa Weible built for her on his property. She had no running water, electricity (pretty sure they didn't have any in the entire county in the 1910s) or a bathroom.
Here are my wordless Wednesday offerings. I could think up so many captions for these two old Irish postcards but I won't. I'll follow the rules for a change. Oh wait, I just broke the rules by writing out all this. Crap! No wonder all my elementary report cards said things like, "Michele has impressive language skills but needs to learn to use them at the right time" or "Disturbs others in class with talking" or "Talking in class = needs improvement".
I'll let you write the captions. What's your thoughts on them?
I'm not sure how random I'm feeling today but I'm giving this one a shot. If you want to see more random posts head on over to Keely's place.
So these are some of my stats for this week (unimpressive as they are).
Okay, I get it. I talk a lot about food. I like food. I am very food driven and it looks like a good portion of the people that come to my blog through a Google search are food driven. The top four searches are about food.
That does not explain number 12. What the ......?
Top Searches that Brought Readers to Your Blog (max 25 shown)
And who wants dog accessories with olives on them? Sounds like some kind of Napa Valley thing.
I'm taking a computer programming class this semester. I suck at programming. It makes me want to drink. Oh wait, most things make me want to drink but nothing makes me want to drink as much as computer programming.This is creating a problem for me. I was furloughed one day a week which cuts my salary by 20 percent. Something will have to give and I'm very afraid it will be wine. Weep for me!
I had planned to put my recipe for Irish Balls on the Morningstar Farms website but it was too much of a pain in the butt. Plus, how do I explain that title in the little tiny space provided.
When you send out more than 1 email that talks about a toilet and you get ads like these:
Toastie Tush® - Only $39.95Innovative/Simple/UL - Settings www.ToastieTush.com
Pup-Head™ Dog Potty -$149 - Perfect for Apartment, RV or Boat Portable Dog Potty - Free Shipping
Portable Event Bathrooms
Enjoy Comfort & Luxury at Any Event A Regal Restroom Experience! www.RoyalRestrooms.com
What the hell is a portable event bathroom? I have visions of cocktails and canapes. White jacketed waiters and bubbley in the bowl. I don't care if my tushy is toastie and my dog has a potty right next to mine I'm not going to make an event out of it.
VodkaMom needs to increase her followers in order to get a book deal or agent or some such thing. So being the neighborly sort I thought I'd ask any of you who don't follow her (what the hell are you thinking?) to get on over there and sign up. It is for a really good cause. You'll feel better about yourself. Really, you will. Thank you.
That will be all folks.
Oh, one last thing. My DIL is having to deal with the loss of a very good friend. Her close friend from flight school was the co-pilot of the airplane that crashed in Buffalo. She's learning about mortality and friendship and the feeling of helplessness. I wish that she could have been spared from learning these lessons at the age of 22 but that is not the way life works. Sometimes, life just plain bites donkey dicks.
I was watching the Meat Network, sorry, the Food Network last night. One of the shows was Bobby Flay "Taste of Ireland" or something to that effect. Anyway, I guess that Bono & The Edge from U2 own a hotel in Dublin. The Tea Room restaurant at this hotel has some fancy pants chef that makes a version of colcannon (mashed potatoes and cabbage stuff). His has meat in it then he breads it, fries it then serves it with some kind of sauce. I thought to myself; "I could do this. I could do this without meat."
(Why is it that virtually every recipe/show on the Food Network features meat? There is not one show on the Food Network that is vegetarian. Don't bother emailing them about this. They don't write or call, they have completely ignored me. Oh, and if you think to contact their production people to suggest a show, ha! Forget about it! If you don't already have a cooking show they don't even want to hear from you.)
I made my own version of the fancy pants chef's recipe with mashed potatoes, herbs, spices & Morningstar fake chicken strips. Everyone, even the omnivores in this house, loved what we're calling Irish Balls. Hey, the British have Spotted Dick; we can have Irish Balls. (Oh, I forgot JR is Irish and the boys are half. I guess we have all kinds of Irish balls around here).
So here you go:
Irish Balls with Mushroom red wine sauce
3 large baking potatoes (I used left over baked potatoes from the night before) 3 green onions, sliced thin 1 large or 2 small cloves of garlic, chopped 1/2 cup Morningstar chicken strips, chopped 3 Tablespoons milk Salt & pepper to taste 2 Tablespoons fresh or dried parsley 2 Tablespoon butter 1/2 cup breadcrumbs, finely ground 2 eggs, beaten Peel & boil potatoes like you were going to make mashed potatoes. When they are fork tender drain and put back into the hot pan to dry out a little. While they are cooking melt butter on med-low heat. Add onions, garlic, and Morningstar chicken strips. Cook until just soft. Add to potatoes. Mash by hand (you're looking for lumpy here) adding milk a little at a time. These should be very stiff.
Place beaten eggs in one dish and breadcrumbs in another. Roll potato mixture into balls a little bigger than a golf ball. Dredge in egg then coat with breadcrumbs. I did all of them at once then set aside.
In a heavy fry pan heat up about 3/4 inch of vegetable oil on med-high. Brown all the balls in batches. When one batch gets done place on a rack over a cookie sheet (to drain) in a 400 degree oven.
Serve on a bed of cooked greens and topped with Mushroom Red Wine Sauce. My personal favorite for cooked greens is spinach sauteed with onions, garlic and a little olive oil. Yum!
Make approximately 15 balls.
Mushroom Red Wine Sauce
1 pound slice mushrooms 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1/4 cup onions, chopped 1 cup vegetable broth 1/2 cup red wine 2 Tablespoons butter
Melt butter in medium sauce pan. Brown mushrooms in butter. Add onions and garlic to mushrooms. Add broth and red wine. Boil to reduce by half. This turned out to be one my best Sunday night family dinners. It is not as hard to make as it seems. You could make the balls ahead of time then dredged, bread and fry later.
I am so incredibly juvenile. Every time I type the word ball I giggle just a little.
Am I the only one that gets phone calls from their mother that goes something like this:
Mom: Hi Honey
Me: Hi Mom
Mom: Do you remember Janie Doe from High School?
Me: Can’t say that I do. (thinking to myself, Please God not one of the dead relative of a non-friend phone calls.)
Mom: Well, maybe not. She wasn’t really in your class. She was in Mari’s (Mari is my younger by 2 years sister), class.
Me: Uh, Mom I had over 800 people in my class and so did Mari.(Yep, it's going to be one of those.)
Mom: I’m sure you’d remember her if you saw her.
Me: I doubt it. (trying to sound interested but already starting to wander off in my mind)
Mom: I think she had a brother that was Wayne’s age (Wayne is my older brother by 2 years). Do you remember him? I think his name was Tom or Todd. I know it started with a T.
Me: Nope, doesn’t ring a bell. (contemplating a facial)
Mom: It doesn’t matter because I’m sure you remember their Uncle Leroy. He attended Ronda’s church.
Me: Mom, look I’m sure I don’t know him or his family or his friends. I didn’t go to Ronda’s church with the exception of going to her wedding. (should I spring for the bikini wax or the manicure? Should pain be a factor in this decision or price?)
Mom: He was at Ronda’s wedding. I bet you met him there.
Me: Mommmm, that was 28 years ago! (God, I love cheese. Maybe, I should try making my own? I bet Trader Joe's has non-animal based rennet)
Mom: Well, I thought you’d like to know that he was just diagnosed with colon cancer. He’s not expected to live. The doctor gave him 3 months. It has progressed from his colon
Me: I’m sorry to hear that.(Speaking of colons; which dog farted?)
Mom: I think you should send a card.
Me: I didn’t even know him or his family. (Crap it was Nessa. That smell is gonna linger. Where's the Febreeze?)
Mom: They sent a lovely card when Daddy died.
Me: They don’t even know me. (Mmmmm...I could be dusting the house. Nah, too much work)
Mom: I’ll send you their address.
Me: Please don’t. (The Boy just left for the library maybe JR will be up for a little play time. "Up" for Hahaha. I crack myself up)
Mom: It’s only right that you at least send a card.
Me: What about Mari? She at least went to school with his niece. (will this conversation ever be over?)
Mom: I was hoping you would send something since they were nice enough to send something for Daddy’s funeral.
Me: Fine. Send me their address. (Damn it, I'm such a wuss. I just agreed to send an effing card to someone I don't even know. Someone kill me now!)
Between the guilt and the fact that my Mom is the NICEST person you’ll ever meet. I give in. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be the middle child.
Since I've been sort of out-of-it the last couple of days (Geez, how I love scheduling posts) and tonight is my PHP programing class (Geez, how I hate programming) and I should actually try to put something on the table for the boys (Geez, you'd think being the glam librarian that I am would be enough) and because Jen over at Sprite's Keeper asked for it (I promise I'll get to all of you that asked for recipes out of a specific cookbook and those that didn't, well I'll make something up), here is the first recipe out of one of my new-to-me cookbooks (whew!).
I've made variations of this before that have turned out well so let's give one more a shot. This is out of the Cooking Light - 5 Ingredient - 15 Minute Cookbook. This cookbook uses a whole lot of prepackaged ingredients which I never have on hand. Because, duh! Expensive. So I've changed it out for those of us trying to save a buck.
Speedy Chicken Cacciatore
1 pound angel hair or spaghetti pasta, dried
Olive oil (if you want save the fat and use cooking spray)
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, diced
1 pound frozen 3 pepper and onion blend. (I get this at our local Kroger chain but you cat substitute any frozen veggies that has onions and peppers in it. I guess you could even slice up fresh but that would defeat the whole speedy thing)
1 cup frozen sliced carrots
1 (15 ounce) can chunky Italian-style tomato sauce.
2/3 cup water
pepper to taste.
Cook pasta according to package, omitting salt and fat.
In large skillet over medium high heat saute chicken, peppers, veggies until chicken is brown. Stir in tomato sauce, water and pepper. Reduce heat, and simmer, uncovered about 5 minutes. Stir often.
Place 3/4 cup pasta and 1 cup of chicken mixture on each plate.
According to the book this has 416 calories and 6.1 gram of fat. 40.1 gram protein and 3.5 grams fiber, if you're keeping track of that kind of thing. Since I cut the chicken by about 3 ounces and added more veggies things may have changed in this regard. If you want to go vegetarian add chunks of extra firm Tofu (squeeze out the moisture first) in place of the chicken. You could make this faster if you had canned chicken also.
I just read today that Barbie turns 50 this year. I, too, will turn The Big 5.0. this year. Beyond our sharing a birthday year; Barbie and I are so much alike that we could be sisters.
Let me show you:
Babs and I were offered the same types of career goals. Nurse, Flight Attendant, and Junior Designer are not far off from Librarian. Notice that Barbie wasn't featured as the Senior Designer or the Airline Pilot or the Doctor. WTF, Astronaut? I don't think so!
This is Barbie's singer costume. Barbie and I have the same taste in gloves. Mine just don't come out very often. (Grown up son at home. Ewwwww.)
Barbie and I also wear the same shoe size. Having leprechaun feet is not all it's cracked up to be. When you are almost 50, hanging out in the kids department trying on shoes is somewhat weird. Other shoppers think you are someone's grandma or that scary stalker person. Not to mention the style issues. Finding tennis shoe, you bet'cha. Stilletos, not going to happen. Barbie probably has her shoes made in Italy. The Bitch!
Barbie and I look totally alike (as in we have skinny chicken legs that look as though they are toothpicks holding up our bodies. Whereas, Barbie's skinny legs hold up an hour-glass shaped figure; mine hold up a body that is shaped more like one of those fat pencils that you give to little children.)
Barbie and I both started out as blonds. I've chosen to embrace the fact that my hair has darkened over the years (with the advent of the silver streaks my hair is getting lighter again) Barbie has not. I'd keep a space helmet over my head also if my hair looked as over-processed as Barbie's does. Barbie needs to have a serious talk with her stylist.
I so could have done this look when I was in my thirties (HA)
We have all had miss-steps in our lives (you know most of mine since I've over-shared on numerous occasions) and Barbie looks like she was'nt immune.
But, we've both put our lives back in order.
According to JR, I look just as good as Barbie does at almost 50. I think he's saying that in the hopes of getting lucky. Works for me.
Love, M
p.s. all the nice Barbie pictures are courtesy of Mattel and the trailer trash Barbie is a Google image that I haven't got a clue who the clever person was that doctored it up.
In honor of my recent trip to Las Vegas I have put together a few random thoughts about sin city.
I did not realize that spray on pants were still in vogue. I was under the impression that they went out in the 80s. I guess not. According to my completely un-authoritative study, pants that look as if they have been spray on are in. White ones are the popular choice. Leads one to wonder why there weren't any panty lines or dark shadows (if you get my meaning. BTW, she wasn't a real blond) on the gal that I saw the white ones on. Of course, I would have needed JR and The Boy to be there to see her because they would have really been looking.
You would think that a $12 glass of Zinfandel would have tasted a whole lot better then the stuff I buy for $12 per bottle. I pretty much expected this drink to take me to Nirvana. Didn't happen.
A coupon for a well drink does not actually buy you a well drink. That takes another $2 plus tip.
Prostitutes hand out cards but not 2 for 1 coupons.
The slot machines no longer take coins. FYI, Excalibur Casino, you missed out on the 3 cents that my aunt and I were willing to drop into your coffers. Don't ever bitch to me about your gambling revenue losses. I was willing to do my part.
If a drunk homeless guy staggers into the middle of the intersection wearing baggie pants please expect said pants to fall down aroung his ankles. Causing those of us waiting at the light to advert our eyes and snicker for so long that we miss the light and people behind us start honking.
Well, that is my take on Las Vegas. Keely over at The Un-Mom is the keeper of Random Thought Tuesdays. Head on over there to check her and all the other participants out. It's well worth your time.
I have heard that the first step on the road to recovery is to admit you have a problem. I have a problem. I collect cookbooks. Collect is a so much nicer word than addiction, don'cha think? Addition means that you can't help yourself. I could stop, if I wanted, really I could. (wait, that's a symptom, right?).
I fueled this addiction this weekend at the VSNA book sale. It was a sad and pathetic site . I made a complete pig of myself at the fairgrounds(no calories imbibed) today by buying 24 new cookbooks (JR walked out with 5 humor books. Do you think he's trying to tell me something? Nah, he's not that subtle). I do want to add that my cookbook extravaganza did not even rival some of the other buyers in the exhibit hall (is justification another addiction symptom?).
The average price for each of the cookbooks was $2.50. Not bad really considering the tons of use I will get out of them. Yeah, I totally understand that the new bookshelf I now need will cost $30 minimum. Added to the price of the books only adds another buck each, still a bargain.
I've already gone through most of them and flagged recipes that I plan to make. Should be fun. I promise I'll share. Like you thought I wouldn't, HA.
Here's a list of my newest acquisitions (librarian speak for excessive hoarding):
The Mayo Clinic Williams-Sonoma Cookbook. Simple Solutions for Eating Well
The Wonderful World of Cooking (1954 author signed copy)
The American Heritage Cookbook
McCall's Cookbook.
I went with the mixed bag theory; some cool old ones, some veggie, some fancy, some low-fat/calorie.
I look forward to sharing the best of the recipes from these books. (not last night's though. It sucked. Now, I have a ton of leftovers that I need to make into something else. Crap, I hate when that happens.)
And of course, the only way to do that is to post old Valentines cards that are somehow very interesting and kinda creepy all at the same time. I mean what's with the top two cards? The little girls knickers are showing. Aren't those two at the top a little young to be posed quite like that? And where is the little boy's other hand?
I'd like to say all kinds of loving (read sappy) things about JR today but I think I might just spend the day showing him what he means to me. Which is going to be really hard (no pun intended or not much) because he means so much.
Everyday, I wake up wondering why he sticks around (considering how high maintenance I can be or how high maintenance I want to be). Oh well, I don't plan to enlighten him.
Love, M
p.s. I'm going to consider this my spin this week. The fabulousness that is Sprite's Keeper gave us an extra day and since I'm such a procrastinator I'm once again squeaking in under the wire.
This is my favorite of my two Grandpas. Admittedly, he was the only grandfather that I knew since my dad's dad died when my dad was 17. Death seems like a paltry excuse now doesn't it? I mean really!!
Anyhoo, my grandfather McNail was a wonderful and interesting man. He was born in 1898 on a farm in southern Missouri. He was the oldest of 12 children (10 survived).
After he graduated from high school he attended Southwestern Missouri State College (now it's called Southwestern State University). He was the first graduate from Centerville, MO to be offered a scholarship to the college. This was much to his father's consternation. His father couldn't understand why he needed to attend high school not to mention college. Kids those days! Grandpa was 16 years old when he started at SMS.
After college he joined the Marines. It was during in WWI. He was sent to Haiti. During this time he cut sugar cane. Leave it to the military to send a bunch of guys to Haiti during a war in Europe. Anyway, these guys were from all over the U.S. Most of them had never seen a farm much less wielded a machete to cut cane. Fortunately for my grandfather he was raised on a farm and had cut sorghum. Otherwise his fate may have taken a rather serious turn.
It seems that the natives were a bit pissed at the way some of the soldiers were cutting the cane. The cane needs to be cut a certain way or it will not cut back up the next year. Those that didn't cut it correctly lost their heads, literally. Grandpa used to tell stories about going to relive the sentry only to find that his head was severed from his body but still sitting on his shoulders. Grandpa was totally impressed by the natives machete skills. And, gave thanks to his upbringing.
After he got out of the military he did some modeling. These photographs are from that time. He modeled uniforms while in the military and just sorta floated into afterward. Then he became a businessman.
I remember him sitting on his back porch drinking coffee and smoking his hand rolled cigarettes. When I was a kid I would sit out there with him learning to roll cigarettes with pencil shavings. When I got really good at it he let me roll his cigarettes with real tobacco. This particular skill made me the one of the most popular girls in junior high and high school. If you wanted a joint rolled I was your gal. But, I never inhaled. Ha-Ha.
I saw this recipe on the Pioneer Woman Cooks site and my first thought was, "I'd eat this," (as the wonderfulness that is my BFF Julie would say). I mean what's not to like; its cheese and bread! Bread and cheese and olives and butter and mayonnaise; everything fattening rolled into one. How bad can it be?
My second thought was, "How can I make this cheap and with stuff I have on hand." If the Pioneer Woman does one thing it is not cheap. She usually is putting stuff in her recipes that I don't normally buy (read expensive) or stuff I don't like (read meat filled).
When I read this one I knew I could make it fit with my needs. And, you know it's all about me and well you, my lovelies.
In order, to not make this the post from hell I thought I'd give you the original recipe then all the ways I thought I'd adapt it in the future. The being said I didn't make this per the recipe the first time because of the whole, "I don't have that on hand", problem.
Olive Cheese Bread
1 regular can whole black (ripe) olives.
1 - 6 ounce jar pimiento-stuffed olives (I didn't have this. Okay I had something similar but I wasn't going to use them for this recipe. Martinis are a much better use, don't cha know. I used some olive tapenade that I received as a Christmas gift.)
2 green onion (1/4 cup regular old yellow onions work fine)
3/4 pound Monterey Jack cheese (didn't have. I used Guyare.)
1/2 cup real mayonnaise(low fat was the only kind I had)
1 stick butter, softened (please throw that margarine right out. Nasty stuff. Full of free radicals. Tastes like a**.)
1 loaf French bread (I didn't have this either. I substituted hot dog buns. Hey, bread is bread . Don't judge)
Roughly chop black and green olives. Slice green onions and give them a rough chop. Combine green onions and olives with the softened butter, 1/2 cup mayonnaise, and grated Monterey Jack cheese. Mix thoroughly. Slice French bread in half lengthwise, then spread mixture evenly over the halves.
Bake at 325 degrees for 25 minutes, or until thoroughly melted and starting to turn light brown and bubbly. Cut into diagonal slices and serve with salad, with soup, with spaghetti, or as a yummy appetizer.
At this point PW had some make-ahead tips but really WHY. Eat this ASAP.
Now for some add ins (stick to the same recipe just toss these into it. I wouldn't go for more than 1/2 cup for the meat or veggie ones and 1 or 2 for the chopped eggs. You may want to scoop out whatever type roll/bread you are using. You get more stuffing goodness that way.:
Italian style:
add italian seasoning, maybe some roughly chopped and cooked italian sausage or pepperoni.
Replace Monterey Jack cheese with Parmesan and mozzerella.
Breakfast:
add chopped hard cooked eggs, chopped ham, cooked sausage.
swap Monterey Jack with cheddar.
Mexican:
add chopped & seeded jalapinios, taco seasoning, chopped & seeded tomatoes maybe some black beans. The 1/4 of a cup of leftover Taco meat.
use a mix of cheese and whatever white cheese you have.
serve with salsa, sour cream and guacamole (I serve guacamole with just about everything. At 3 for $1 right now avocados are cheap. And, lets face it, it's seriously great)
Vegetarian:
cooked and chopped veggies like broccoli, peppers, and artichoke hearts. I'd stay away from peas, green beans and the like.
I think this recipe would lend itself to a whole lot of the, "OMG, I only have 1/4 cup of [insert leftover dinner item here] what will I do with it?".
You should be able to make it a little less fattening if you use low fat mayo & cheese (don't go the fat free cheese cause it doesn't melt or have any taste and I'm not even sure it is food). You can cut the cheese down a bit. I did and it was still great. Substitute whole wheat bread for the fiber boost.
Up and out the door at 9am to take the long drive up north. If it hadn't been for my mp3 player I may have nodded off at the wheel. Miles and miles of desert broken up by a Joshua Tree forest and small towns like Wickenburg and Wikiup. Don't blink.
After going through the TSA checkpoint (the officer did a thoroughly brief and totally inadequate check of my truck. I guess middle aged women driving a 3/4 ton pickup with the Beatles playing on the radio are not considered a national security threat).
Crossed the Hoover Dam. Yep, just as impressive now as it was 12 years ago when I saw it. They are building a huge bridge across the canyon that will rival this dam as a feat of engineering.
Here are my infamous mom and sister standing in front of our hotel. It had a Camelot/Disneyland/creepy theme going for it.
My beautiful niece and sister. It is my understanding that these girls have cheer bows and competition bows. This is the competition bow. Her hair has so much gel & hairspray that it doesn't move. You couldn't even tell that Tess' hair is blond. I called it prom hair.
Here is Tess and her BFF. Aren't they the cutest? Ah, to be 14 again.
I took a bit of video. The noise level at the competition vied with the constant din in the casinos. Tess' team took 3rd place. Go Team!
From left to right: Mari (my sis), my mom (she who stole my cheese grader), my niece Shannon (OMG!), my niece Tess (she was freezing), me, and my aunt Ruth. Poor aunt Ruth looks a bit drunk in this photo. As you can see I didn't tart myself up. I'm pretty sure that the only one in this group that would see any business (wink, wink) would be my niece Shannon.
I'm just a little bit afraid of what this will be like. Thank God Stiletto Mom posted about this frightening phenomena awhile back or I would not know what to expect.
So as to not make my niece totally embarrassed by my appearance I've fired up my curling iron, bought the giant Costco size bottle of hair spray, packed my industrial tube of mascara, pulled out that leftover pot of blue eyeshadow that has been lurking in my bathroom since the 80s and had my belly button pierce (okay, I didn't have my belly button pierced. JR would have had a fit. After the tattooing incident he's been rather vocal about my body art).
It is "Go Red For Women Day" today. So if you haven't already left the house stumble back into your closet and please pull out something red to wear. I have a real connection with this particular event because, as my cardiologist says, "Michele, you are a heart attack waiting for a place to happen".
Yep, skinny little vegetarian me has 4 of the 5 factors that leads to heart disease. God bless genetics.
Anyhoo, this day is to raise awareness of the symptoms of a heart attack in women. We suffer them different than men. My little incident at 44 years old taught me what to look for the hard way. Let's make sure other women don't have to learn it like that.
Kover at Interstitial Life had this really fantastic idea. She's giving a party! Invitees get to guest post on her blog. She has a couple of rules and regulations but basically it's all pretty straight forward. Go check her out. Really, do! She's a doll. Now I didn't want to look too eager (raised my hand frantically) but I wanted in on this party. I also wanted a reason to re-post/polish off this real early blog career post. I included the comments (all 2 of them).
Readership was down in the beginning. Not that it is terribly high to start with. I like to think of the 40 or so people who visit my blog as loyal and trusted friends. You know who you are (I'd shower you with heaps of gifts and money but have you seen what librarians get paid?). Even though half of the 40 are probably Google hits that can't figure out why they are looking at this crap. Serves them right.
Now don't let the geeky computer programming stuff stop you from reading this post. It will make total sense by the time you hit the second or third one how this thing rolls. I dare you to leave your own pseudocode.
Pseudocode for guys
My carpool partner/daughter-in-law and I were talking about how nice it would be if you could program men like you would a computer. That led us to create a few If/Then statements. The following are a few that we thought were important. I'm sure that we only hit the tip of the iceberg on this one. Feel free to add a few of your own in the comment section. I'm not the best programmer so if the syntax is not quite right I'll apologize now.
#1 If toilet seat is up Then Put it down Else or I'll be screaming at you when I fall in End If
#2 If you drink the last of anything in the refrigerator Then Throw the container away
#3 If your clothing is dirty Then Put in laundry basket Else they won’t get washed End If
#4 If garbage can is full Xor smelly Then Take out Else I will hit you over the head with an empty egg carton End If
#5 If you take a cap off the beer bottle Then Throw the cap in the garbage Else I will no longer buy beer End If
#6 If you pass gas under the bed covers Then Do not lift the covers Else you will be sleeping in another room End If
#7 If light is On Then Turn it off
#8 If you want a drink Then Get a glass Else I'll empty the container you just drank out of over your head End If
#9 If I am talking to you Then Make the effort to listen Else I will just nag you about it later End If
#10 If you are lost Then ask for directions ElseIf we are late Then I will glare at you and give you the silent treatment End If
If woman is talking Then pretend to pay attention (pause game if necessary) Else endless rounds of "you never listen" ensues. End if
Sry, had to get some man code in there ;) In all fairness:
If woman is talking Then she is clearly right, stop while you're ahead. Else you are totally fucked. End if
See, only one year deep and I am already trained =D
February 14, 2008 2:11 AM
Ben R said... (I don’t even want to know what he was planning to say but if it was worse than he wrote below…)
This post has been removed by the author.
February 14, 2008 1:05 PM
Ben R said... (He gets this from his father)
I should make up some of these for women but it would require a class because they are just Objects. (For those that might not know it “class” and “Objects”are programming terms but I pretty sure he didn’t mean them that way. He caught hell for it anyway)
This is possibly the best way to have eggs. JR, The Boy & I will eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner.. Just not all on the same day. I mean really beans three times in one day? Don't light a match! As The Boy used to say when he flushed the toilet; "It's gonna BLOW!" (wasn't he a cute 4 year old?). If you don't like eggs just blow right on past this post (Kath this is you right?).
This recipe not only rates as yummy but it does so cheaply (no, I'm not cheap the dish is. Oh wait, I am cheap. TMI).
I mix it up a bit with whatever ingredients I have on hand. No corn tortillas in the house; I use flour. No refried beans; go for black beans (our personal favorite anyway). No chili sauce; tomato sauce, a can of green chilies, and chili powder. Dip a finger in that bad boy to taste. Hot enough? Add hot sauce.
Huevos Rancheros
4 corn tortillas vegetable oil for frying 1 1/2 cups refried beans 4 to 8 eggs, fried 1/2 cup red or green chili sauce 1 cup shredded yellow or white cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese 1 cup shredded lettuce 1 medium tomato, diced 1 avocado, sliced, diced or mashed
Dip tortillas into hot oil for 2 seconds; drain on paper towels. Arrange tortillas on individual ovenproof plates. Place in a warm oven. 200 or 225 degrees will do. Remove all but 1 tablespoon of oil from the frying pan. Add beans and cook, stirring until heated throughout; spread over tortillas.
Fry eggs in skillet to your preference (me; I go for runny. JR likes his a little hard). You want them a little under done. Arrange one or two eggs over each tortilla; pour sauce on top. Sprinkle cheese over tortillas. Broil until cheese is melted.
Pretty it up with the lettuce and tomato around the tortilla. Top with a little sour cream and a whole lot of avocado. Okay, you may not be a big avocado eater. Though personally I don't understand this phenomena I do realize that there are some out there that just don't like it. Around these parts we eat no less than 6 to 9 per week. I could eat my weight in guacamole.
Serves 4.
With all the bells and whistles this serves 4 for about $1.25 each. That rates as seriously cheap eats.
So why try this recipe?
Yummy! (Enuf said)
cheap ($5 for 4 people. You can't get take out for that)
good for you (all you egg Nazis out there. They are not bad for you in moderation. Moderation in just about everything is good. Except crack that's just bad for you)
opportunity to smear avocado on something (besides my thighs)
one skillet = very little clean up (this is definitely slacker food)
Enjoy
Love, M
P.S. photo scanned from my Benson & Hedges presents Recipes From American's Favorite Resorts
In the beginning days of my marriage to JR I did everything I could to get my in-laws to like me. Okay, maybe that was shooting a little high. I wanted them to at least get over the feeling that I stole their 31 year old baby from their protective arms. I just ripped him away to do nefarious things to his person. And worse off I liked it. I had the big ole pregnant belly to prove it.
In the spirit of new daughter-in-law friendliness I opted to let my father-in-law drive JR's precious Volkswagen Scirocco. Big mistake.
The whole experience went something like this:
Eddie: Margaret and I need to go to Fred Meyers (like Target) would you like to come?
Me: Sure.
We all pile into JR's Scirocco because that was the only car home at the time. Eddie picked the drivers seat immediately because he's the man. My mother-in-law had to have the front passenger seat because she was afflicted with Rheumatoid Arthritis and just couldn't get into the back seat. So I squeezed my 7 months pregnant body into the back seat of this tiny car. I had to go pee. I always had to go pee but this was worse. My pretzel position put more pressure on my already abused bladder.
Anyway, off we go. I'm in the backseat giving Eddie directions. We go a mile or two with me becoming increasingly aware that Eddie is having a hard time shift gears in this vehicle. He's grinding them, he's not down shifting, he's not slowing down at corners, he's skipping gears altogether. I'm starting to fear for my life and the life of my unborn child. Not to mention my mother-in-law who JR thinks of as the God of all women and if I could be just like her his life would be complete.The paralyzing fear and the intense pressure on my bladder made me go pee just a little. It wasn't pleasant.
Me: Turn left here. God, Eddie slow down before you turn.
Eddie: I can't. If I do I won't be able to find first gear again. (as he cuts off a big delivery truck).
Eddie: G*dd**m truck.
Me: Make a right here. For the love of God Eddie slow down before you turn! You had to have been riding on two wheels.
Eddie: This F*&king car has such a short throw. (as he blows through another stop sign.)
After a few more miles, many missed stop signs, several near collisions, and at least one curb hopping incident the direction/driving conversation took a turn that Eddie could not have anticipated.
Me: Pull over.
Eddie: Here?
Me: Yeah, pull over here.
Eddie: There's no store here?
Me: I know. Just pull over.
Eddie: Ok.
Me: Turn the car off.
Eddie: Huh?
Me: That's right, I said turn the car off. Good, Now get out.
Eddie: Okay (looking all bewildered)
I haul my fat body out of the back seat; I'm sure rupturing something vital in the process.
Me: Get in.
Eddie: Are you going to walk to the store?
Me: No Eddie. Get in the back seat.
Eddie: But, I was driving.
Me: No Eddie, what you were doing was not called driving. Not by anyone's standards. Get the hell in.
Eddie slowing stuffs his 75 year old body into the back seat of the car. I graciously move the seat forward. Okay, maybe it wasn't so gracious as necessary since I'm short but it did give him more room. We smoothly drive off.
Eddie sulking in the back. Muttering things like; I would have gotten the hang of it eventually and It's the car's fault and I don't understand what the problem was, I didn't actually hit anything.
Me in the drivers seat actually stopping for stop signs, downshifting, grabbing all the gears, and not grinding them.
My newly minted mother-in-law calmly seating in the passenger seat laughing her head off.
Margaret: Michele, Thank you. I've been wanting to do that for almost 50 years.
I only ever drove with Eddie once since that time. And, that one time he had the nerve to backup on an on-ramp to I5 in downtown Seattle. Once, again I asked him to pull over. Which he did. He knew what was coming. He'd been there before. He got out and switched me places. JR was in the car that time. He was astonished. He looked over at his dad who told him: "She won't let me drive".
Me: Eddieeeee?
Eddie: She won't let me drive EVER.
And I didn't! Linda over at Crone and Bear it was kind enough to present me with this butterfly award. I'm not sure what the rules are (I would just break them anyway) so lets just say if you want it help yourself. If you want to perform some sort of ritualistic ceremony complete with chanting, do that too. I'm good with it.
Love, M
P.S. Jen over at Sprite's Keeper had an interesting idea. A painting give away. I could paint something over the next week or so then host a give away. How does this sound to you all?
I had a post all lined up today about my late father-in-law and our driving issues when Casey over at Half as Good as You reminded me that it was Random Tuesday Thoughts today. If you don't know what RTT is go check out Keely at The Un-Mom. And Casey, and Vodkamom, and Capt. Dumbass and all the rest of the blogs that are nice and neatly alphabetized in ascending order on my sidebar (like the librarian speak? "alphabetized in ascending order." HeeHee. Where's my sensible shoes?).
I received this horrendous thing in the mail yesterday. I'd like to take issue with Sunset Magazine's definition of SENIOR CITIZEN! I haven't turned 50, folks. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, what's six months but damn give me a break.
JR got a huge laugh out of this. He was saying things like, "Sunset just made my day" and "Honey, they think you're a SENIOR CITIZEN" and "This makes it official, you really are old." My response was the appropriate; "F**k you." He really should understand by now that paybacks are hell and he has a birthday coming up on Friday.
The SENIOR word is not going to stop me from subscribing though. It's only $10. I may be offended but I'm not stupid; Sunset has some great recipes and photographs. Just to show how pissed off I am about the whole SENIOR thing I'm going to rip out the photographs to use as inspiration for paintings. There! That ought to teach them. My total abuse of their work should be payback enough.
Speaking of abusive painting (why does that sound so bad?) this is my latest one. I'm planning to give it to the DIL or at least I was until she told me she was going to put it in her bathroom. I DON'T THINK SO! I expect a much better position within their household for my amateurish efforts.
Took a quick trip to Charlottesville, Virginia last week. Met some very nice people at the Medical library at UVa. Since, I haven't heard from them I'm assuming I wasn't the top candidate. That's alright, Charlottesville is beautiful but expensive. Plus, it would be hard for JR to find something there to do. Unless you count his plan to be my private gigolo as a job. Then he's all set.
I have today off (a whole other story that I won't go into now) so I'll be doing all sorts of random things. Paint, pay bills, cook, paint, clean the bathrooms, paint, eat too much, dust, try not to indulge in retail therapy, and paint. Hope your day goes well.
Went digging through my old recipe box to find this one. It had been languishing in said box for the last 25 years. I don't know why but I have never made it before today (or really yesterday since I will publish this tomorrow but you know what I mean.) Maybe I thought it was going to be a pain in the butt, it wasn't. Maybe the title sounded too bread like, it's not. I'm just not really sure. What I do know is that I could kick myself for not trying it sooner. It really is more of a cake than bread. As you can see JR and I dug right in. It was delicious. I think this will be dinner tonight. Do you think having it for three meals a day would be out of line? Could we make a case for it as health food? Maybe the "Lemon Bread Diet"? I could make a fortune. Until everyone found out that you can't lose weight on it. Oh well (sighs heavily).
Lemon Bread
6 Tablespoons butter 1/4 cup sugar 2 eggs 3 tablespoons lemon juice 2 teaspoons freshly grated lemon peel, zest 1 1/2 cup flour 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 cup milk 1/2 cup walnuts, chopped, optional
Butter loaf pan. Line with waxed paper or parchment. Buttering the loaf pan makes the waxed paper stick to it. You could use shortening or non-stick spray. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cream butter and sugar. With mixer running add eggs one at a time. Add lemon juice and zest.
Combine flour, salt and baking powder. Turn mixer on low add half the flour mixture, then 1/2 the milk, then the rest of the flour mixture, then the remaining milk. Be sure that each are fully incorporated before adding the next.
Spread into prepared loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour.
Turn bread out onto plate or serving dish. I used a long narrow one with turned up sides. You don't want to lose any of the yummy icing. Poke some holes in the top with a toothpick. Blend 3 tablespoons of lemon juice with 1/2 cup powdered sugar. Pour over still hot bread.
I'm sure you could fancy this up but why mess with perfection. I could fancy up the title. I'm not very good at that sort of thing so I think I'll keep calling it lemon bread. If you can think of something better I'll be happy to change the name. I hope you enjoy this as much as we did.
In light of the economy going to the dogs. Not my dogs mind you, they are pamper pooches to be sure. I want their life. Lie around all day, eat premium Kirkland brand dog food (I may start tossing this into chili) and getting the humans to play ball with me. If there really is reincarnation then I want to come back as one of my dogs. Or better yet, any pet owned by my mother. Sorry, tangent over. Back to saving money this year.
I'm not sure if I can even call it saving because really it is all about reducing our spending in order to survive. There probably won't be any saving going on.
Here are my 10 painless ways to save some money this year.
1. Bake one batch of bread, cookies, cakes, pies, biscuits, etc per week. (I do all my baking on the weekend. For example: today I'm baking scones, lemon bread, lemon cupcakes and chocolate cookies. I'll freeze half of each so I don't have to do much next weekend. If you see a lemon theme going this week don't be surprised. They are ripe now and I get them for free).
2. Purchase 10 articles of clothing at a thrift store or yard sale instead of paying full price.(Better yet, go on a 6 month ban on buying any clothing then only buy seasonal on sale stuff for the next season.)
3. Hang four loads of laundry per week instead of using your dryer.(I realize that some of you do not live in areas where you can hang your clothes out all year like we do. This is where you will need to be creative. We lived in the Seattle area for most of our lives. The Pacific Northwest is not known for its abundance of sunshine. We had to get inventive. Shower rods, retractable clotheslines in our laundry room and basement, those collapsible drying racks were all part of our strategy.)
4. Once a month make a pizza from scratch.(A while back I posted an outstanding and easy pizza crust recipe. I use this for pizza, calzones, bread sticks, etc. I top it with leftovers such as grilled chicken, barbecue beef, and veggies. I rarely if ever buy pepperoni or any of the traditional pizza toppings. They are really expensive.)
5. Once a week go meatless. (Yeah, I know, I've said it before but this is a terrific way to save money. If you insist on having meat every day cut it back from 1 whole pound to one half pound per recipe everyday.)
6. Reduce or cut out the drive-thru addiction. (Sorry gang this includes coffee shops, fast food joints and take out. This will be a hard one for some of you. I totally understand how easy it is to just drive-thru on your way home. I have even succumb to this luxury a time or two myself but never more than once every other month. Now if I could get JR to stop using the drive-thru while I'm out of town I'd really be saving.)
7. Pack your own and your kids lunches.(Preferably from leftovers or inexpensive items on hand. You'll still save a little bit if you use that expensive lunch meat but if you can cut out that stuff this will be the quickest money you will ever save. Around these parts you can't go out to eat for less than $5. You'd save $25 a week by cutting out dine out lunches. 50 work weeks a year makes for some substantial savings. I'd do the math but I'm a librarian folks and lazy to boot. Do your own math.)
8. Turn down the thermostat and install a programmable one.(This will save you big time. Just a couple of degrees cooler in the winter and a couple of degrees warmer in the summer will cut your heating and cooling bills considerably. But, I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Here in Phoenix we have on-peak and off-peak hours for electricity use. We save a bundle by watching the times that we turn on the air conditioner in the summer. We don't even turn on the heat in the winter. We throw on a sweater or blanket. Not to mention what we save by only using the oven, dishwasher and the washing machine during off-peak hours. I'm a total bitch about this.)
9. Reduce or cut out completely your soda consumption. (This is not as painless as it may seem. JR has a serious diet Coke addition. When it goes on sale, like now during the Super Bowl, I stock up. When it runs out he switches to lemonade purchased in powder form from Costco. The boy and I are iced tea drinkers. I keep both of these things in the icebox for handy drink retrieval.)
10. Use the library. (I'm not saying this because I'm a librarian and it is job security. It's not. I'm saying this because the library is free, and they most likely have the latest books, and it's free! Most libraries have great websites. You can reserve that new best seller long before it even comes out on the bookstore shelves. The library will email you that it is at the circulation desk waiting for you to pick it up. Let me tell you a little known fact. Twice a year the American Library Association holds a conference that every publisher in the world come to. They all get a booth in the exhibition hall. They literally give away books. They entice authors like Nora Roberts to attend. I received a sign copy of one of her books months before it was out to the public. Need a textbook? Borrow it. I take community college courses all the time. I never buy textbooks. I inter-library loan them. Saves me bundles. At the very least if you have to own a certain book try the used bookstore first.)
Well there you have it. Near as I could figure I save no less than $1000 per year doing these simple things. Pretty painless, huh?
I'm counting this as my Spin this week. I've been lazy the last few Spin Cycles (My bad! But I'm back Jen!) If you don't know what the Spin Cycle is take a wander over to Sprite's Keeper to find out. Not Yet! Leave me a comment on ways you plan to save money this year. Add to my list, baby!!!
